So Houston came and gone and so did my final chance to make the Olympic Trials. I was overwhelmed by the support leading up to the race and really was feeling confident that I could do it. I came down with a cold a week before and wasn't able to kick it before the race. Luckily, it wasn't in my chest, just my sinuses, but it made it hard to sleep at night. I flew into Houston Friday afternoon and got settled in before picking up my packet and going for a shake out run. I had dinner at a tiny Italian restaurant that night and then hit up CVS. No more Advil Cold and Sinus was allowed in my system (its on the band substance list), I relied on nasal strips and netty pot. I barely slept Friday night, I was up constantly blowing my nose. Saturday I went back to CVS and picked up vick's vapor rub, which I lathered on my nose so I could breathe. I met up with a friend from high school (we were soccer buddies) who was in town for the race as well. We got lunch and caught up, which was a nice race distraction. I ate my normal pre-race pasta and shrimp that night before heading to bed early.
Sunday, January 17th
Marathon Morning. It was a great day. There was some light wind, but the temperature was perfect. As we lined up, we found out there would be a 2:45 pacer. This was awesome. They went out a little hard the first mile and I let them go, which was fine since I caught up with them shortly once they settled down. Around mile 10 I wanted to go, I was feeling so good. The pacer kept me in check--we are still early, we're jogging, wait until later. He was right. It felt easy, like I was jogging, running with the group. There wasn't another group to catch ahead of me, I'd be running the next 16 miles alone. I held off. Around 13 I wanted to go again, it's still early. Alright, I thought, I'll hang until 20. Then our mile splits were off. We thought we had lost some signal as we went through some underpasses, however we indeed slowed down and didn't realize it until a few miles later. I started to pick it up around 17, then the pacer completely disappeared at 18. I got through mile 20 with a few other girls. I saw the 20 mile split and was heartbroken, it was the same split time as mile 20 at CIM. I felt so much better this race, I thought I was better paced, however, I didn't think I was going to hold those 6:15's the last 10k. This part of the race was mentally and emotionally hard for me, maybe I decided too quickly it was done, I will never know. I finished the race in 2:46 and my friend Lisa found me right away. I was glad she was there to do the normal post-race things with and to distract me from what just happened. In a way, I was relieved I wasn't running another marathon in 4 weeks. I walked around for awhile before taking a long shower and heading to the airport. A long flight awaited me and work the next morning.
Monday, January 18th
Before and after the marathon I was overwhelmed by the support and OK with the fact I wasn't going to be running the trials. Now add in fatigue, post-marathon depression and work the next morning and a disaster was about to happen. I was on no sleep, still sick with a cold, stuck in the OR, standing on my tired legs operating and without caffeine so the inevitable was about to happen. I started balling. I needed to get away so I walked to get coffee when I ran into someone I knew from running, who had been very supportive. It was then when I saw her I felt like I had let everyone down. And there, in the middle of the hospital, I started balling again. I won't lie, the next couple days were ugly. I was upset, I felt like I let people down and I had failed. I thought about everything I had given up the past 2 years to try to reach this goal, for what? What I needed was a vacation from running, and that's exactly what I had planned.
Saturday, January 23rd & Sunday, January 24th
Winter storm Jonas had flights canceled, but I wasn't going to be one of them! I got to the airport at 5:00 am to get an earlier flight out of Albany. I had recently decided 1 week after my marathon I was going to run a half marathon before getting on a cruise ship. Now, this is not something I recommend, I had never done a race after a marathon like this, but I was in the elite field and for some reason, just felt like I wanted to do it. I'm glad I did. The morning of the marathon/half marathon was like a dance party at the start line. Music was pumping and people were dancing. We were in Miami! It was dark, the race started at 6:00 am, and there were NO expectations whatsoever. I didn't even have to finish if I didn't want to. I went out the first mile in 6:10. I continued to run hard, but comfortably and started to enjoy the race. The amount of support that early in the morning was surprising and awesome. The moon was awesome, the sunrise was awesome-- these are things I NEVER notice when I am racing. When we hit a really bad patch of wind, I decided to have a conversation with someone since we were running slower, something else I hardly do during a race. It was great. I finished in 1:22:06, far off my best time or what I am capable of running, but I was a week post-marathon and didn't think I'd be able to do it and had a lot of fun running it. I was happy.
I went on the cruise that week and had a blast. I ate a lot, I drank a lot and I didn't run. It was exactly what I needed. I came home to a package from Pearl Izumi, who gave me some sponsorship this year, and I was looking forward to starting some easy running. I ran the Joe Benny run this morning and enjoyed catching up with some ARE folks. 
2016
The plans and goals are there, but this entry is to be continued...
