1...2...3 Strikes & OUT!

Well let me recap on my worst training cycle in years.  It started in February.  I was dumb.  I finished Houston on January 17th, my second marathon in 6 weeks, both of which were a 2:46.  I took 4 days off and wanted to see how my legs felt for an easy 4 mile shakeout later that week.  They felt fine.  This was enough for me to stay in the elite field for the Miami Half Marathon a week after Houston before getting on my cruise ship for vacation.  Initially I thought it would be a good tune-up for the trials in LA had I qualified at CIM in December.  However I didn't and then ran Houston.  There was no reason to run Miami, but I did with the thought one good run before indulging all week in food and booze on a cruise ship would somehow justify my laziness.  I ran 1:22, which was pretty good a week post marathon, but I'm sure my muscles weren't recovered and I did more damage.  I was lazy on the cruise, but then upon my return wanted to start running again.

I started February 1st and ran every day through June 12th.  Normally when we start a cycle we start with a base phase.  Build up my mileage with no workouts over ~4-6 weeks.  Being eager and had gotten into the elite field of the USATF Half National Championship I definitely skipped the majority of this base phase and rushed into faster paced workouts, building up lactic acid.  The first sign should have been at the Shamrock Shuffle 5 miler in March.  My legs felt like crap essentially the whole race.  I chalked it up to the weather, it was cold and I had just starting with high mileage and workouts so I figured my legs weren't fresh.  Next race, Delmar Dash 5 miler.  Same thing, it was cold!  After a mile my legs just didn't want to go, maybe it was still the weather and wearing shorts in cold weather....  The half marathon did not go well.  My workouts had been decent, however they were rather short.  Mile repeats, 800 repeats, etc.  My problem when racing seemed to occur right after the mile mark.  Something was going on where my legs didn't want to continue past that point.  The first 2 miles of the half went really well and I thought I felt great, it could be a good day!  However, then they went dead again and didn't want to move.  Okay, something is up.  I got my labs checked, my H&H had dropped as did my iron.  I added liquid iron to my normal tablet supplements and hoped for the best.

Our team at Freihofer's, my teammates both running well!

After the half we really did short, quick, track work hoping it would result in a fast 5k.  I backed off the distance and mileage and continued training.  I ran a decent 5k towards the end of May, 17:31 on a fast course.  I had hoped this would convert to an 18-flat at Freihofer's (which it should have), but it didn't.  I ran slower.  The next weekend was one last chance to redeem myself, I should be able to pop out a 17:40 at the OK 5k, but I didn't, I ran 17:50.  Each week I was racing seemed to get worse.  I tried to run the day after these 2 5ks to find my legs hurting so bad that I walked both runs.  I knew something was really wrong.  I got all my labs checked again, I was sleeping 9-10 hours a night now something had to be wrong, but this time everything was perfect.  WHAT????!!  I really did overtrain for the first time, I couldn't believe it.  I went back through my running log to learn I hadn't had a day off since January.  I then took 3 days off.

 

1st day off from running in 19 weeks, walk with Mia

I ran an easy 8 yesterday in Amsterdam from Karen's Produce on the hard pack dirt bike path.  I used my new watch that I got last week to monitor my heart rate and the aerobic/anaerobic level I was at.  I stayed in the aerobic zone, which I will have to do for the next 4-6 weeks.  I started to read up on this whole overtraining syndrome everyone was suggesting months ago that I didn't want to believe.  It really made sense, the absence of a base phase and the difficulty racing after mile 1 were clear indicators.

Another key sign I missed was the lack of competitiveness I had.  I always have been competitive, but kind of didn't care for the first time.  My mom told me after Freihofer's an observation she made.  "Karen, I may not know anything about running and maybe I am wrong, but when I watched you, you were just like ahh whatever, I am just here and don't really care.  I see other people on that start line pumped up, ready to go and then when they finish they are killing themselves and really want it.  You looked like you didn't care when you finish, you just ran in like you were doing any old run."  This was true.  I lacked that desire and fire.  Maybe you could say I was a little depressed with running.

Other factors:  Aside from the lack of aerobic base phase and the abundance of anaerobic track work, I didn't treat my running the same as I did in the past.  Normally when marathon training my workouts were long and I run 80-90+ miles a week.  When doing this, I know how important recovery is and I am 100% committed.  After a long run or long workout during marathon training I immediately make a protein recovery drink, foam roll, epsom bath and/or use my elevated recovery legs.  However, this cycle since the workouts were only 3-5 miles on the track total and I was maxing out my weeks around 65-70 miles, I didn't think all this was important, so I skipped all of these things.  Probably not the best idea...

So now what?

Like I said I took a few days off, and I will continue to add in rest days over the next 6 weeks.  As for running this will be strictly aerobic working on the base phase.  I have several massages scheduled and will start adding in the proper recovery tools I would normally use when marathon training.  I think we learned I am more of a strength runner (higher mileage, less anaerobic track stuff) and thankfully I made it through this without any injuries.

Hopefully things will start looking up.

The not so exciting spring, rant, and half marathon championship.

Willow Street @ Shamrock Shuffle in Glens Falls

So I had this idea, this idea that I would take a few weeks off/do minimal running, then be ready to start training and come back ready.  This was clearly not what happened.

First mistake (yes, I will admit that this was a big mistake), I ran a half the week after my marathon.  Sure, I thought I felt okay after running a second 2:46 marathon within 6 weeks and thought since I was really taking a break I would be okay to run 1 race before getting on the cruise ship, it was dumb.  I ran fine for a week post marathon- 1:22 and felt okay.  But in reality, I am certain this screwed up my recovery.  Followed by a week of drinking, this was not ideal for recovery regardless if I was running or not.  I should have skipped the race and not subjected my muscles to further damage regardless if I wasn't sore.  Lesson learned.

During my marathon cycles I went gluten free, initially to reduce any inflammation when my knee injury crept up, but secondly to hopefully cure my iron deficiency even though my biopsy and blood work was negative for celiac's.  After vacation, I got my labs checked (a routine procedure) my iron level and H&H remained the same over an 8 week period for the first time ever in my life, I was stoked, gluten free it is!  Then I started to train again excited I would finally be healthy.  I continued to take my iron supplements every night and jumped back into training.  The first few workouts went well, and I thought I was going to have a great spring.  Then I had a little setback.  I went to Colorado and the altitude really bothered me more than normal.  I thought maybe it was because I hadn't been there in awhile, but then when I came home I was still having trouble.  My legs burned and felt terrible first race back.  I chalked it up to starting to train again and racing through training.  I remained gluten free because in my mind this was the answer.  I then continued to run with Emily during the week, but noticed she was killing me!  She is quite the pusher during runs without realizing it to begin with, but I was literally sucking wind and could barely talk.  Okay, I told her I need my labs drawn again.  My hematologist and me thought since the last draw was great and the diet fixed the forever problem I wouldn't need labs again for 3 months this time, but I went 8 weeks later.  Only this time to find out my hematocrit dropped 3.5 percentages, along with my hemoglobin, and my ferritin stores although still within normal limits, dropped 50%.  This was depressing news.  To feel better, I ate a ton of gluten since that clearly wasn't my easy fix answer anymore.

I knew I was at a huge disadvantage, but there was nothing I could do right now.  It all made sense, my workouts that were shorter on the track were fine, I was still hitting my times because I was taking breaks after each repeat, allowing the muscles and lungs to get their oxygen back.  However, longer repeats I started to hurt really bad right before the mile mark.  I was hoping my body would start to acclimate to the new levels.  It had in the past, heck I had been running and living my entire life with ferritin levels between 4-11 going back to when I was 16 years old and H&H levels from 10&31.  This is NOT okay for those that don't know!  What is funny is a couple girls (I can't even call the women even though they are married with children), tried to tell the entire running community that I was cheating for correcting my critical levels, my ferritin hit 4 when my primary told me I needed to go to the hematologist who loaded me with iron immediately (and iron is 100% legal idiots).  Anyway, these girls are clueless about this stuff and one of them years ago gave me her labs to look at, her H&H was 42&14 or something like that!  My god, she essentially had 3-4 more pints of blood in her body than me and she decided to go around and say I was cheating because I got a critical ferritin level of 4 corrected!

ANYWAY, I continued to take my iron supplements as normal this month, although I doubt they're doing anything (why, we still need to find out) and train.  I think my body has started to adjust to the new lower levels a bit as I can sustain a little more before feeling the lack of oxygen through my legs, but it hurts.  I have been sleeping a ton, I'm talking 10 hours a night.  Therefore, all my strength training has gone out the window as I haven't had time to work, run, strength train and sleep.  I've been working a decent amount and it hasn't really worked well with training.  For example, I squeezed in my track workout after work one day before I had to take call that evening.  I was on my cool down when I got a call from the ER that I had to go in for a fracture.  Normally after a workout I'd get in some protein for recovery within the first 30 minutes followed by foam rolling.  This clearly didn't happen. I went straight to the ER to handle a fracture in my running clothes and all.  I got home an hour and a half later and started to make dinner.

Fast forward to this weekend:

National Half Marathon Championship- Columbus, Ohio
I had no idea what I would be in shape to run.  My workouts have been fine, my 2 attempted race efforts were terrible, I was starting to adjust and feel a little better, maybe I would surprise myself and run well?  NO.

Thursday, April 28th- I took a half day, ran a bunch of errands and got in a shakeout run before hitting the road.  I drove 4 hours to the other side of Buffalo, where I spent the night at an AirBnB.  Friday morning I got back on he road at 7:20, stopped once for gas and breakfast and got to Columbus around noon.  I checked into my hotel, went for a shakeout run and signed in for the race.  I went back to my room and hung out for a few hours before heading to the elite meeting.  I sat down in a room by myself and then realized Desi had just sat down behind me!  I had to refrain myself from grabbing my cell phone to take a picture :)   The race director, elite coordinator and all the volunteers were amazing.  They really went out of their way to make sure we were taken care of and the event went smoothly.  After the meeting I saw Hannah and Lou, familiar faces I was glad to see.  We had a pasta dinner which they provided for us and met a couple guys from Colorado.  I went back to my room, got some things ready for the morning and was in bed by 9:15.  I slept well, woke up and did my normal routine before heading over to the elite room where they escorted us to the start.  I switched from my singlet to sports bra right before the start and went over to the line.  Weather was perfect.

The Race:

The damn blood blister

It's was a small field, only 26 women finished, not sure how many started, but I think there were a few more.  My goal was not to get last.  We started 5 minutes ahead of the masses so this was really a possibility.  I went out at what felt comfortable, but knowing I needed to let the majority of the field go out ahead of me.  First mile was 5:42, quick, but not suicidal.  The second mile 5:43, okay, this is good, I feel good, this could go well!  Shit, mile 3, 6:04.  mile 4 back under 6:00, okay good.  I knew 5 was going to be slow because there was an uphill, which it was 6:18.  Okay, come back from this.  Mile 6- 6:06.. uggg I wanted to be back under 6's for miles 6 & 7 since there was a slight downhill.  I was running alone at this point, which normally doesn't bother me, but the blood blister that formed around mile 4 made it really tough to push.  Every step I could feel it.  Mile 8 had an uphill, ugg, 6:22, that's bad.  Same for mile 9, god damn it, what is wrong with me, I can run this pace at mile 21 of a marathon.  Mile 10- 6:15, finally, get it back down, I can still run 1:20, maybe even under if I push the next 3 miles… nope, not enough.  6:08, back up to 6:20, crap the blister just popped and there is a gush of blood in my shoe.  Last mile 6:14 followed by the most miserable .1 ever.  1:20:58, but given there is no net time it was 1:21:00.  From 12.6-13 was an uphill I think I was cursing during.  What a terrible race I just ran.  By some miracle I finished 19th in the prize money, but I really didn't care.   I would have been happier running 1:19 and finishing 21st.  I should have started slower, I should have been more prepared, who knows, should have could have would have…


And now the post race.

Sorry if this is TMI:
The toilet bowl full of bloody urine.  Yes.  I love when this happens.  Oh wait it doesn't?  Because it does to me.  It was a lot this time, and I promise you I was properly hydrated.  I saw my primary last summer about this who thought because I don't have a lot of fat the movement with running is causing my bladder to slam back and forth, so I just needed to leave my bladder full when I run.  Yeah, I am calling bullshit on this.  I look around the field at these races and there are plenty of smaller runners with less body fat than me, emptying their bladders before getting on the line and not peeing blood after.

Rant over.

So now what.
Well I think I should try to get a little healthier even though I am not injured.  I don't know, stop peeing blood, is this why I am anemic?  I doubt it, it only happens now and then, but has been going on for 2 years.  Figure out why I am loosing iron/not absorbing supplements, this is another question that's been pondered for years.  Strength train.  I need it, my core isn't the greatest right now and I am honestly lucky I've been able to put in the mileage without injury.  Figure out this damn blood blister.  It happens almost every race, same place, under my bunion.  It's been getting worse though I think… ]

Onto the next...

Spring Cycle

Spring has Sprung!

I came home from vacation and continued to relax a couple more weeks with some extra pounds and in need of detox.  I started a new 16 week cycle at the end of February with a few goal races on my list.
1.  USATF National Half Marathon Championship
2.  a May 5k
3.  Freihofer's Run for Women

The half marathon championship, April 30th, is a bit of a stretch for me right now, but I figured this was the year to do it.  For one, it's the first time I have run a sub 1:18 half to qualify, secondly, a lot of distance runners are still coming off trials and may not run.  Therefore, I am hoping for a decent overall finish place in the national championship event!

A May 5k... So that's the goal, but I want to find the perfect one.  I want to get my 5k time down significantly with the goal of a sub 17 sometime in the next year or so.  My PR is only 17:29, but given when that race was during my schedule I know for a fact I wasn't peaked for that race.  My coach gave it to me as a workout, in which I drove 3 hours one way to it, and had a workout after the race.  I hate when people say they're doing a race as a workout, but only run the race.  If you're running a race as a workout, it should be extended by further repeats, otherwise you just ran a race hard and raced.  I also had come off a 10k race the Saturday before, long run Sunday, decent effort trail 5k Monday and then the race was Thursday in the midst of high marathon mileage so I was totally exhausted running on tired legs.  After the race had something like 5 x 3 minutes hard.  With all that said, I think lowering my 5k a significant amount is totally within reason.

Freihofer's- I have never run a FRW that I was happy with.  Since I'm not going to do a marathon this spring I want to try to get some speed back in my legs and attempt a good freihofers this year.  I always say I'd rather watch this race since it draws so many top runners, but given its a team race, I do it every year.

The cycle so far:
It's nice not having to do long runs more than 16 miles right now and not be running 90 mile weeks. That being said, jumping from 0 miles, to 20, to 30, to 45, up to 68 miles a week I was tired!  I've been around 68 the past couple weeks and feel better now, this week I will be in the low 70's.  Last Tuesday's workout went great and then I went to Colorado for a huge slap in my face.  I was there for 1 week, got in 9 runs which included 2 doubles, a long run and an attempted 5k.  It was the most miserable experience.  I wanted to break 19, (my first 5k at altitude was 21:35 when my sea level PR was 18:45).  While I lived in Colorado over the next 14 months my altitude 5k went from 21:35-20:48-20:02-19:06 to finally 18:35 after 13 months of living there.  So I knew it was going to be hard, but I had ran a 2:50:01 marathon right after running the 18:35 5k at altitude, so figuring I'm in 2:45-46 shape I should be able to break19.  WRONG.  I felt the oxygen completely deplete after the first mile and I hit a wall there.  It was so painful and left me so sore the next few days.  The course was flat, yet I felt as if my quads had just experienced a downhill marathon.

Despite the painful 5k (19:17), I had fun and my long run post wedding on Sunday morning wasn't slow for my altitude long runs.  I think if I had run something that didn't require so much anaerobic energy, I would have faired better, as the aerobic stuff doesn't bother me too much in Colorado.

We celebrated Pi Day on Monday with a group run sponsored by Pearl Izumi and Runner's Roost Fort Collins.  I got to hang out with my friends, including my coach and his family Sunday night.  I came back to NY after a week and ended a long day of travel with a second run for the day with Nick.  The next day I had a workout on the track.  It was awesome.  Fast.  I puked.  It's been awhile since I did that, I left it all out there.  Mile repeats on 90 second rest averaged 5:40.

Running the foothills

Second  breakfast of the week at my most favorite joint #Snooze

Pi run with Pearl Izumi #pearlizumirun

Old Runner's Roost friends!

Marathoning and Indulgence

So Houston came and gone and so did my final chance to make the Olympic Trials.  I was overwhelmed by the support leading up to the race and really was feeling confident that I could do it.  I came down with a cold a week before and wasn't able to kick it before the race.  Luckily, it wasn't in my chest, just my sinuses, but it made it hard to sleep at night.  I flew into Houston Friday afternoon and got settled in before picking up my packet and going for a shake out run.  I had dinner at a tiny Italian restaurant that night and then hit up CVS.  No more Advil Cold and Sinus was allowed in my system (its on the band substance list), I relied on nasal strips and netty pot.  I barely slept Friday night, I was up constantly blowing my nose.  Saturday I went back to CVS and picked up vick's vapor rub, which I lathered on my nose so I could breathe.  I met up with a friend from high school (we were soccer buddies) who was in town for the race as well.  We got lunch and caught up, which was a nice race distraction.  I ate my normal pre-race pasta and shrimp that night before heading to bed early.

Sunday, January 17th

Marathon Morning.  It was a great day.  There was some light wind, but the temperature was perfect.  As we lined up, we found out there would be a 2:45 pacer.  This was awesome.  They went out a little hard the first mile and I let them go, which was fine since I caught up with them shortly once they settled down.  Around mile 10 I wanted to go, I was feeling so good.  The pacer kept me in check--we are still early, we're jogging, wait until later.  He was right.  It felt easy, like I was jogging, running with the group.  There wasn't another group to catch ahead of me, I'd be running the next 16 miles alone.  I held off.  Around 13 I wanted to go again, it's still early.  Alright, I thought, I'll hang until 20.  Then our mile splits were off.  We thought we had lost some signal as we went through some underpasses, however we indeed slowed down and didn't realize it until a few miles later.  I started to pick it up around 17, then the pacer completely disappeared at 18.  I got through mile 20 with a few other girls.  I saw the 20 mile split and was heartbroken, it was the same split time as mile 20 at CIM.  I felt so much better this race, I thought I was better paced, however, I didn't think I was going to hold those 6:15's the last 10k.  This part of the race was mentally and emotionally hard for me, maybe I decided too quickly it was done, I will never know.  I finished the race in 2:46 and my friend Lisa found me right away.  I was glad she was there to do the normal post-race things with and to distract me from what just happened.  In a way, I was relieved I wasn't running another marathon in 4 weeks.  I walked around for awhile before taking a long shower and heading to the airport.  A long flight awaited me and work the next morning.

Monday, January 18th

Before and after the marathon I was overwhelmed by the support and OK with the fact I wasn't going to be running the trials.  Now add in fatigue, post-marathon depression and work the next morning and a disaster was about to happen.  I was on no sleep, still sick with a cold, stuck in the OR, standing on my tired legs operating and without caffeine so the inevitable was about to happen.  I started balling.  I needed to get away so I walked to get coffee when I ran into someone I knew from running, who had been very supportive.  It was then when I saw her I felt like I had let everyone down.  And there, in the middle of the hospital, I started balling again.  I won't lie, the next couple days were ugly.  I was upset, I felt like I let people down and I had failed.  I thought about everything I had given up the past 2 years to try to reach this goal, for what?  What I needed was a vacation from running, and that's exactly what I had planned.

Saturday, January 23rd & Sunday, January 24th

Winter storm Jonas had flights canceled, but I wasn't going to be one of them!  I got to the airport at 5:00 am to get an earlier flight out of Albany.  I had recently decided 1 week after my marathon I was going to run a half marathon before getting on a cruise ship.  Now, this is not something I recommend, I had never done a race after a marathon like this, but I was in the elite field and for some reason, just felt like I wanted to do it.  I'm glad I did.  The morning of the marathon/half marathon was like a dance party at the start line.  Music was pumping and people were dancing.  We were in Miami!  It was dark, the race started at 6:00 am, and there were NO expectations whatsoever.  I didn't even have to finish if I didn't want to.  I went out the first mile in 6:10.  I continued to run hard, but comfortably and started to enjoy the race.  The amount of support that early in the morning was surprising and awesome.  The moon was awesome, the sunrise was awesome-- these are things I NEVER notice when I am racing.  When we hit a really bad patch of wind, I decided to have a conversation with someone since we were running slower, something else I hardly do during a race.  It was great.  I finished in 1:22:06, far off my best time or what I am capable of running, but I was a week post-marathon and didn't think I'd be able to do it and had a lot of fun running it.  I was happy.

I went on the cruise that week and had a blast.  I ate a lot, I drank a lot and I didn't run.  It was exactly what I needed.  I came home to a package from Pearl Izumi, who gave me some sponsorship this year, and I was looking forward to starting some easy running.  I ran the Joe Benny run this morning and enjoyed catching up with some ARE folks.

2016
The plans and goals are there, but this entry is to be continued...

Final Chance

January 10th, 2016

So it's the new year and for the first time I didn't reach all my goals in 2015.  I ran PR's in the 5k, 10k and half marathon, but not the marathon, which I really was aiming for.  

I am now 1 week away from the final chance I have to run an Olympic trials qualifying time in the marathon.  I've been thinking a lot about how to cut off the 45 seconds I need to make the time at Houston.  The majority of this needs to happen during the final miles of the race, easier said than done.  I wish my friends and family would be there during these tough miles, but they won't, it's too far and they're saving the trip for LA (hopefully!). I'm in this alone, me, my legs and my head.  And with that I need to remember the things that motivate me during these tough miles.  One would think its all the supportive people I have amongst the running community, friends and family.  Although this is true, believe it or not, the jealous, demeaning individuals get me fired up just as much to run fast during these miles. So thank you!  🙂. Jordan Hasay said it best "Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you."

This short training cycle since CIM has gone a lot better than I thought.  I recovered quickly and had several good workouts.  Last week I peaked at 77 miles (ran a half marathon at MGP with 85 miles under my legs that day for the past 7 days), and ran my fastest mile repeats to date this past Wednesday.  I was pretty stoked when I ran my previously fastest repeats in August (6 X 1 mile, 2 min rest) and thought my legs would not have that speed being post marathon this time around.  However they were 1.3 seconds faster on average!  2 days later I did a progression run closing in 6:06.  I'm ready.  I need to stay healthy this week.  I felt a little sick today, scratchy throat, so I've been downing the EmergenC, Zicam and MV, as well as the fluids.  Fingers crossed this is gone tomorrow.  

18 miler for the day with 13+ @ MGP

Long run/workout 2 weeks ago, alternating MGP/faster and 6:45'ish

Rebuilding. Racing. Survival.

Rebuilding.

My knee took me out a month from 9/12 through Hartford.  I got on the line because I couldn't handle the uncertainty of what if.  What if the adrenaline took over my pain threshold, what if running fast made it not hurt, so on.  I got to mile 5.5 of the race before feeling my knee (+1 mile warmup).  It was done, I was done.  I was angry.  I emailed one of the local sports docs that day to get in for an appointment and MRI.  I had been doing PT, taking NSAIDs, gone gluten free to avoid any additional inflammation, I was doing it all. Below is one of many gluten free meals, the black pasta is quinoa and black bean pasta, 12 grams of protein per serving!!!

The next morning I went out for 9 miles and out of nowhere I had no pain.  We progressed cautiously over the next couple weeks, but I was finally getting somewhere.  I had my first long run again, 15 miles and felt my pain at mile 8.  After stopping on the side of the road to do my PT exercises and stretching, I was able to finish without any further pain.  

Ending a PT session with stim and heat

So now here I was able to run again toward the end of October.  I had 5 weeks to build up for CIM and a week taper.  I got my feet wet by running Stockadeathon 11/8.  Although I finished place wise exactly where I wanted going into the race, my time was not stellar.  I had run 55:20 and 55:30 for my 15k splits of my last 2 half marathons, so running 56:10 wasn't great, BUT it was a step in the right direction and it is a tougher corse.  I managed 19 for the day, with no pain.

10 days before CIM was the Troy Turkey Trot.  I had been ready to run sub 36 for awhile now, but given that it was only 10 days out from the marathon, coach Mike instructed me not to run faster than 5:50 pace, or 36:15.  The clocks were off on the course, but my first 3 miles on my watch were all within 1 second of each other at 5:48, 5:48 and 5:47.  Close to 5:50!  I slowed down the next 3 miles, yet ran those consistently as well, finishing in 36:18 for 1st place, exactly where Mike wanted me.  

Then it was time for CIM. 

 

Racing

On Friday, December 4th, I drove to Newark, NJ to fly out to Sacramento.  I got into Sacramento around 2:30 that afternoon and took an uber to my hotel.  I went for a 3 mile shakeout run, then went to the elite suite to get my bib.  I then met Jaime across the street at the expo, before going to get dinner.

I didn't sleep as well I would have liked Friday night and thought for sure I'd nap Saturday, however I couldn't sleep yet again.  I dropped my water bottles off Saturday then spent the day resting.  I went to bed early in preparation for the next day.

December 6th, 2015

California international marathon.

Weather at the start was perfect.  About 46 degrees and light rain.  As soon as the gun went off I searched for the large group of ladies I had planned on running with.  We went through the first mile around 6:09 and quickly settled into the 6:11/12 pace right after.  The first water stop, I didn't place a bottle.  Too much effort for mile 3.  However at the next stop, I knew I need my bottle and after missing it, ran back for it before sprinting back to catch the girl I had been running with.  Stressful!!!  The next stop I grabbed what I thought was my bottle to find out it wasn't mine.  The rain picked up around the 10k and it felt slick.  I felt like with every stride I was loosing ground and had to work harder.  Mile 10 was fast, 6:05, but we settled down again and went through the half in 1:21:11.  I felt good, but it wasn't as easy as I had hoped.  The hills were almost over and I was just looking forward to mile 16 where things would flatten out. However it was around mile 14 when I felt a pain in my knee.  It wasn't terrible, but all I could think of was the knee pain I had back in September that progressively worsened with each mile until I couldn't take another step.  This wasn't good mentally.  Okay, slow down so in order to make it to mile 20 where I'll then drop out, I thought to myself.  And I did.  Mile 18 was my slowest mile of the race.  I reached mile 20 only to reevaluate and realize my knee pain hadn't progressed like I had anticipated.  Damn it!  I then threw in a little surge for the next 3 miles running 6:22-24's again vs the 6:43 I had just run.  The last 3 miles weren't terrible, but I did gain 22 seconds I didn't want.  I finished 2:46:38.  Not what I wanted, but not terrible considering where I was mentally with a good 11-12 miles left to go.  Had I not worried my knee was going to start really hurting would I have remained calm and held my pace?  That's what sucks about an injury, you get so nervous about going through it again the minute you feel something you panic, and I did.  

I walked a lot (~3 miles) after the race, which was good.  I had a flight that night and it always helps with recovery.  My stomach wasn't hurting, but I couldn't think of food, but knew I needed something.  Finally I thought of ice cream which actually sounded appetizing!  

I flew back that night, landed in Newark at 5:30 am Monday morning.  I drove back to my parents to get Mia and take a power nap before driving home and resting up for a late night out.  Dinner at 677 followed by the bar, I was exhausted and drowned my sorrows for sure.

Survival.

When I was coming back from my knee injury I decided to enter the subelite field at Houston.  After CIM I was on the fence, leaning towards no, about taking another shot at the OTQ.  Then 5 days after CIM USATF announced they changed the standard to 2:45, yes, 2 months out from the trials, with only a little over a month left to qualify.  How could they do this now?!!!  What a difference pacing would have made had we known we had an extra 2 minutes.  Mentally, how much more confident would I had been, a lot!  It's beyond frustrating.  And although I'm now only 45 seconds from the standard, I can't help but feel even worse for the women that ran 5-6-7 seconds over the "new" standard completely unknowing in 5 days it would ruin them.  So, here I am now with a ticket booked for Houston.  I ran 10 miles at 6:55 pace easily today.  Tomorrow and the next few runs I'll shoot for 8:30 pace to ensure I recover.  I have 5 weeks to be ready.  I've done this before, a few times.  In 2011 I ran 2 marathons 4 weeks apart and ran 4+ minutes faster the second one, then later that fall I ran 3:12 and 6 weeks later ran 3:08.  In 2013 I dropped out of MHM at mile 20, 8 weeks later I ran a 9 minute 40 second marathon PR.  

I'm now in survival mode.

  

"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."

October 3rd, 2015-  The Unknown.

It's all unknown at this point.  3 weeks ago I had a solid 22 miler, finishing up at MGP, in preparation for running an OTQ time at Hartford Marathon next weekend.  Everything was going as planned, PR's, mileage, etc. However what I hadn't planned was getting runner's knee and changing my marathon training the last 3 weeks.

2 years ago I decided that I was going to go after the OTQ in 2015 (I am a planner for those that don't know).   I plan everything, including how I was going to make the OTQ.  In the fall of 2013 my goal was to get down to 10 minutes within the OTQ (2:53), which I successfully did when I ran a 2:50:01. In the spring of 2014 my goal was to get my half marathon time down below 80 minutes, which I did again when I ran 1:18:28.  My goal in fall of 2014 was to run a 2:45 at the Hartford Marathon, which I did yet again.  2015-OTQ.  I had been running great and my training cycle was going perfectly until 3 weeks ago.  I had given up so much the past 2 years to focus on my training, only to now be injured.  It's like a bad dream.

I've been in and out of multiple PT offices, have undergone graston, massage, ultrasound/stim, heat, ice, so many pool sessions, the bike, the alter G treadmill, cortisone injection, and lowered my mileage significantly.  To say I would have done anything to get to and through Hartford healthy is an understatement.  But the reality is here.  Yes, I have less pain when I run and can run farther than I could 1 and 2 weeks ago, but a marathon is still 26.2 miles and that is a long way.  Am I confident I will be better soon, yes.  I have been through this injury several times in the past-- high school, college, and 2 years ago after I ran 2:50.  But now what?

As of now my plan is to be on the start line at Hartford crossing every finger and toe and praying to make it through to the finish line.  If I feel the pain at mile 20+, I know I can finish.  If I have pain before this is another story.  I will pull out.  I have Philadelphia and CIM as my backups, which are more likely than not.  This is not the story I wanted, but you don't always get what you want, that I know.  So here is to the unknown, the perseverance.  It will happen, I just don't know when.

"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained."