Drowning in Boston

Well it’s been a day post marathon.  My emotions have changed quite drastically from during, the finish, and now.  During the later stages of the race I couldn’t wait to just get to the finish.  At the finish I was elated--I finished what was the hardest thing I had experienced thus far and felt proud.  Today, I feel disappointed.. "Why didnt I do this or that... I could have finished in the top 20".... and so we begin...

Marathon morning I woke up at the hotel and did the normal coffee, breakfast and foam rolling.  Last minute I thought I should fill out my medical information on the back of my bib in a sharpie.  I then layered up as the rain was already pelting down and the winds were gusting and headed out.  I took a shuttle from the hotel to the South Street lot where we were then bused to Athlete’s Village.  My timing was perfect.  I arrived at 9:05, enough time to warmup, use the restroom and change without any extra minutes standing around in the rain.

The gun went off and I was relaxed.  I was wearing a thin, black, water resistant coat with my crop top underneath that had my bib pinned to it as well as gloves and a ski band to cover my ears.  First mile 6:17.  Perfect, just don’t pick it up.  I slowed down to a jog.   6:30, perfect.  I ditched the coat.  I then ran a 6:08, while accidentally hitting stop on my watch instead of lap, opps.  The next 11 miles were between 6:08 and 6:20.  I saw Erin and Mike at mile 6, then my mom, aunt and boyfriend at 6.5.  I was feeling so great!   At Mile 7 all of a sudden the rain poured down on us and the wind began gusting.  Ugggg.  I tried to tuck in, but it seemed to be hitting me no matter where I tried to hide.  Mile 10-11 was a little rough patch, but I took my gel and bounced back the next 2-3 miles.  I went through the half in 1:21:56, an exact split I’ve run now at several marathons to the second.  At 15 I got cold and everything changed for the worse.  My hands stopped working and a girl came up on me saying, let’s go.  She was wearing spankies and her legs looked so warm compared to mine.  I couldn’t respond. My right leg started going numb.  Well this is new, I thought.  We went downhill at 16 and it was a much slower mile than I had anticipated going into the race. I told myself, just run 6:45’s the next few miles and it will be ok.... 

we got up the overpass hill at 16.5 which I dreaded prior, however I didn’t even notice it.  Ahh a 7:02 mile up the first hill, whatever.  The next hill I ran the same and opened it up on 19 for a 6:40.  So my time was gone, but I still thought a sub-2:50 was in the books.  At this point my hands hadn’t been working and I gave up on trying to get my nutrition out of my shorts.  Hmmm, I’ve done some depleted long runs maybe I’ll be ok.  Heartbreak hill I noticed.  I began having a hard time and my legs were cramping.  I tried to open it at the top and nothing.  Oh no.  I started staggering as I ran.  Just get me to the F’ing finish.  I turned on Beacon full of emotions.  Ok, my mom and Mike will be at mile 23.  I’ll stop and cry there.  I ran along the railing on the appropriate side only to notice Joe and Kevin standing there.  Shit.  I can’t stop and cry, where are they?   I numbfully shuffled the next few miles.  As I turned onto Boylston I thought of my pre race plan with this road-- sprint!  But no.  I kept thinking I’m going to collapse, I’m going to be that person that gets carried to the finish.  Don’t risk it, get in safely on your feet- so I did.

I crossed the finish line well off my expected time and found I couldn’t walk.  I was grabbed by 2 volunteers and brought into the medical tent.  I couldn’t see, everything was dark.  They placed me on a stretcher. Several attempts to get a temperature on me failed and they couldn’t believe how cold my body felt and blue my lips were.  The shivering wouldn’t stop, my breathing wasn’t normal.  Several people came around me and lifted the stretcher I was on to carry me over to the bear hugger.  Yes, this is what I need I thought in my head.  They stripped my clothes and shoes off and blew the warm air on my body while wrapping me in blankets.  I had been laying down for some time and as I tried to bring my head up to sip on warm fluids the cramps began.  Both calves seized and wouldn’t stop.  I screamed.  This happened 5-6 more times until the electrolyte tablets they got in me worked.  My bib was taken by now, thankfully I filled out the back, and my mom and Mike were both called.  Eventually I came to life again, I stopped shivering and I was breathing normal.  We left my wet clothes off as I exited the medical tent in a foil outfit safety pinned to keep my lady parts covered and foiled wrapped around my feet as socks.  

 I shuffled until I found my family and entered one of the hotels to change.  While changing, I found out Desi won, barely breaking 2:40, while Shalane ran 2:46 and Molly Huddle ran 2:50.  I was thrilled Desi won (by the way I called it all week --given the conditions I knew she would win) but also so relieved they didn’t run what they were capable of either.  I felt so much better about my 2:56.  Prior to the race I had a goal of making the top 50, I finished 41st.

So after all this you’d think I would still be happy today.  No.  I should have left that coat on.  I let SO many women pass me the last 2 miles.  Had I had been warmer and didn’t get hypothermic, had I taken my nutrition, damn it I could have made top 20.  I know MANY people had situations like mine, some worse off.  Think about it--Shalane ran 2:46, ~24 minutes off her PR.  Molly ~22 minutes off her PR.  I was 10:45 seconds off.  BUT I had felt so comfortable, like I was jogging at so many points the first half.  You never know what each person’s body will do in extreme environments.  I’m sure some runners with extra clothes, layers, better gloves, who got their nutrition, fared better.  I’m sure those with less body fat and completely unaccilmated fared worse.

So at the end of the day, I finished Boston.  There’s a lot of unfinished business out there and I’m sure next time (when the weather is better) it will feel a million times easier.